


The Lonely Man's Game

by wickedorin



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: AU, Androids, Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-12
Updated: 2013-05-12
Packaged: 2017-12-15 05:59:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedorin/pseuds/wickedorin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written as a fill for a drabble request on AwaitingMassProduction: "Kotetsu  as a voyeur for Kurou having sex! Your choice as to partner, but please add in some comedy elements like Kotetsu being really surprised at how  long a fully charged android can fuck."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lonely Man's Game

**Author's Note:**

> Android/human sex and sort of accidental voyeurism. Also, humor. Sometimes I warn for that.

Okay, so. He should have been at work. And even though he’d gone back to the apartment, he should have actually told Kurou that he was going to be back at the apartment. And even then, even after he’d had the unexplainable urge to _hide in the closet when he heard the front door open_ , he probably should have burst out and laughed and declared it all a big joke. That would have at least saved some awkwardness.  
  
But he heard someone else come in with Kurou. Someone unexpected and very familiar. That voice also got him to close the closet door all the way, admittedly putting his nose into what absolutely wasn’t his business… but, curiosity and cats.  
  
“You’re sure this is alright?” That was Barnaby, without a doubt.  
  
“It is, yes.” Kurou sounded casual as always. “Argente is having a ‘girls night’ with Big Sis, Karina and Pao-Lin. They had planned to do a ‘sleep-over’. And I am relatively certain that Asimov will not mind.”  
  
Barnaby snorted, the shift of clothing indicating that he was taking off his jacket… or maybe his shoes. Maybe _both_. “So long as no one minds.”  
  
“Yes.” The android agreed. “Is there anything you might like from the kitchen?”  
  
“Not yet, thanks. I’m sure it won’t take too long to work me into a state where I’ll need a drink though, hm?”  
  
Kotetsu’s eyes went wide. _What?!_ He’d misheard, right? He and Bunny had talked about being “exclusive”, but they’d both decided to give it time, to “think about it”. Seemed like Barnaby was thinking about something else. He had half a mind to burst out the door right there and then—  
  
Until footsteps were quite clearly starting to move up the stairs. Kurou seemed to be in the lead. “I do however have the wine you like. Should you desire that at any point.”  
  
Barnaby chuckled; then there was the sound of shifting fabric and… throwing something? “So kind of you. I hope I can manage to reward you now that you can feel it…”  
  
Oh fuck he was never going to get out of that closet. Taking a few deep, slow breaths, Kotetsu calmed himself down. It wasn’t as if he was afraid of enclosed spaces or anything. Closter—… claustra… whatever the hell, he wasn’t. But it was just kinda… how long _would_ he be there? Well, probably not too long. They had to get up and want to do something else after they were… done… And then maybe he could sneak out the window if he activated his powers before he hit the ground—  
  
The thud and squeak of the mattress was a little unexpected. Then there were more squeaks, movement. Then Barnaby’s _moan_. Oh damn, that moan. But, already? Really? That was kinda… well…  
  
And what the hell was that? That wasn’t… _Kurou_ , was it? Moaning? Seriously?! It… it sounded like _him_ , a little, and that was…  
  
Oh wow. They were already… geez. That mattress was definitely getting a work-out.  
  
Well. Then. At least he could play games on his phone. And totally ignore Bunny praising someone who wasn’t him. Really, what the hell? He had the _real_ thing! Not to take anything away from Kurou, but… really.  
  
 _Really_.  
  
He totally wasn’t going to play any more of Barnaby’s side of My Private Hero, then. Not even the silly little (much too interesting) hacks he’d found. Not that he knew how to install them anyway.  
  
And _geez_ they were going on a long time. He was pretty sure he’d never gotten those high-pitched… _noises_ out of Barnaby, either. They were kind of annoying when they happened over and over and _over_ but then it sure sounded like whatever they were doing felt good. Great, even.  
  
Pouting, he switched games. Poker? Nah. Pac-Man? Only until he felt the need to curse and then had to cover his mouth with his hand. Solitaire, maybe. The lonely man’s game.  
  
Lonely and trapped in a closet. Listening to his cute partner making demands of an android based off him, looking a lot like him, and… apparently having a hell of a lot more stamina then he did.  
  
Pouting more, he tried word games for a bit. Right about when Bunny was, seemed like. That breathless dirty talk… damn. The blond was _filthy_ when he wanted to be. Those were some… pretty hot ideas, though. Something to keep in mind. But what the fuck was a samophlange?  
  
It wasn’t really until his phone battery was low enough for the screen to turn dim that Kotetsu decided he really needed to get out of that closet. For one… his legs hurt. But for another… he had to pee. Like, badly. Really badly. And he was not going to do that in the closet. You just couldn’t blame human pee on a cat. It was immoral, for one, and impossible.  
  
That little glimmer of hope came when… well, _Barnaby_ did. Or seemed to, at least. He moaned and cried and cursed and that was definitely a _collapse_. Silence, stillness… and then that damn _squeaking_ again, Bunny moaning like he never stopped the first time.  
  
Dammit! Kurou’s batteries lasted _way_ longer than his phone’s. Kotetsu was tempted to just kick something and deal with it, but… maybe… hm. Eyes having long since adjusted to what little light got into the closet, he looked around. Grabbing some clothes, he did what he could to make himself a nice little “sound-proof” tent… then dialed the android’s number.  
  
The mattress squeaks stopped. “Kotetsu is calling me.”  
  
That time, Barnaby moaned in frustration. “Can’t it wait?”  
  
“I am uncertain. I believe I should answer.” _Success!_ “Hold still. Just like that. Do not move.” _Well, mostly success!_  
  
Of course, when Kurou _did_ answer and greet him… he blanked. Why the hell _would_ he be calling? “H-hey. Ah… you’re not busy, are you?”  
  
There was a pause. “I must admit that I am. Is there something that I can assist you with?”  
  
 _Say no and hang up. Say no and hang up._ But… at that point he _really_ had to pee… “I… You know people do silly things, don’t you?”  
  
“I am aware, yes.” Kurou confirmed, apparently moving just enough to have Barnaby stifling a little sound of pleasure.  
  
“O-okay, well. Um. I… there are some things I need to confess, I think. But first, I… really need to use the restroom.”  
  
Another pause, longer. Much, much longer. At last, the android spoke again. “Then feel free, Kotetsu. We can speak after you are done.”  
  
Oh, good. —Wait. No, that wasn’t good at all. “U-um…”  
  
“You may hang up now, Kotetsu. I can hear you just fine without the phone.”  
  
 _Fuuuuuuuuck._ Of course. The android’s hearing had to be pretty amazing. “O-oh. Kay. Sure.”  
  
Then came Barnaby’s, “ _What?!_ ” Followed by more movement. And another moan.  
  
Kotetsu was pretty sure he’d never felt more embarrassed in his life. That was saying a lot. Even as he stood up and stretched his legs with a little curse, he could feel the heat of the blush on his face. He actually had to cover it as he tried to sneak out the closet door, as much because of the suddenly bright light as it was due to the need to hide his face. And not look. He just… really needed to use the bathroom. So bad that a partial erection didn’t even _matter_ —especially since all he had to think about to wilt it was his own embarrassment.  
  
Bunny was going to _kill_ him. Kurou… well, he didn’t know. And clearly by the extra ten or so minutes he took in the bathroom just to consider how the hell he was going to explain himself (the other two still thrusting and moaning all the while), he didn’t _want_ to know. While he did ponder whether or not he could fit out the bathroom window…  
  
Crap. All of the movement finally stopped with a pathetic but sated little whine. Maybe there was still time to climb out the bathroom window, maybe…  
  
A knock. Dammit. “Kotetsu. Please do not consider climbing out the bathroom window.”  
  
How the hell did he—oh. Right. “Ha ha, I… um… I’m sorry. I just… I’m sorry.”  
  
“I am certain there is more to discuss.” Kurou admitted. “But for the moment, we were going to get take-out and have some wine. Would you like to join us?”  
  
“Wouldn’t that he awkward?”  
  
“No more awkward than the situation is currently.”  
  
Well… touche. “Ah…”  
  
“Barnaby is really quite sated and pleasant at this point, therefore explaining what happened would be a much more favorable now than later.”  
  
Oh, hey. “I like the way you think, Kurou.”  
  
“I suspected as much. Feel free to exit in approximately one minute.” He turned to retrieve his clothing. “Unless you are curious.”  
  
Kotetsu already had his hand on the doorknob.


End file.
